Well I didn't really want to clutter up all that lovely space by responding to every comment... so I decided addressing them in response on my blog would make everyone's life a little easier. If I was wrong to assume that... oh well, my bad. I'm in error. But this way is easier than me scrolling up and down the page trying to figure out who wrote what...

First of all, a big thanks to everyone who responded! =] I never really expected that my submitted blog would actually make it up front, so I thank everyone who took the time to share with me their stories or offer me their opinion or advice. I may not respond to every person individually, if I miss you, I'm sorry. I've been working on the Geiss-Jordan Elimination process with Matrices for the past two hours and my brain is a wee bit elsewhere! Haha. Also, I'm going to point out a few more things that a few people have addressed to make this less repetitive.

I have not told him I get the feeling he's avoiding me - I did confront him on why he wanted to end things, and he underlined his previous arguments. Which aren't closure-worthy at all, but, well, *shrugs* I guess you'll have that. I know at some point I'm going to have to ask him why the distance - and preferably before Christmas break, when I return to class. And no, I'm not giving up class or changing schools. I love class, I love what I'm learning, he really is a great teacher, my best friend is there, I've made friends with my classmates, and the only other martial arts school in the area has some weird thing against the school I'm in so it's not really in my best interest to go there. Haha.

Impecable@xanga - Too stubborn to admit I was his mistake to himself, or to me? haha. Yes, I really do want to know the answer. I mentioned just above there that I did confront him - and I flat out told him to tell me if his feelings changed, or if he was interested in pursuing someone else - both to which he responded no. Sooo... yeah, I have no idea. But thanks for the advice. Eventually I know I'm just going to have to face up to him about this huge gap.

xthread@xanga - I totally feel the braindead. And thank you. My mother tells me I was born an old woman and she can only pray that I get younger as I age.

eyesochinky@xanga - I honestly haven't been in serious contact with him - one IM conversation and two very very brief interactions, all three dealing with the books he was lending me. I told myself very firmly that I was going to give him his space for now. =] Also, with the grappling class -- he knew I was coming, the little snake. My friend (who takes other classes at the same school) told him she was signing us both up, and that was right around the time he'd started talking to me online; and it was only after that first class that he suggested that we should see a movie. (God- I just realized that that might sound snippy. I don't mean it to be defensive. Just explaining myself. -.-; )

eskirara@xanga - Very well-worded response! I'm not sure he "quit the effort" - he's seen a lot of hurt (his daughter's mother is... not very nice, and I've heard psycho things about his ex-girlfriend from people not in the know about he and I)  and I think he may just think it's best for me if I'm not involved with him. He's that sort of... bad boy who pretends he doesn't have a good heart, if you know what I mean. Ah, well. Thanks!

Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - You're very right, and I have since taken down the notifications. He's one of those people that lives behind his away message anyway, so now it's much easier to ignore whether or not he's online. I know it's hard for one or the other to be friends - I've been through a..... mm, similar but not quite same situation before. It's hard for me to get out there and be "truly" single, because it takes someone to come drag me out of la-la land and make me like them. =P I'm not really a chaser. I will try to take some time for myself; right now I'm not more hurt by 'what could have been' than I am by the loss of someone I could at least talk to.

wewong@xanga - that wouldn't surprise me; I mentioned in response to somebody else that I've heard some strange things about his ex-girlfriends and I know he's not all that confident on the relationship front.

mz_d0rkabl3@xanga - He has a shitty track record with relationships, like I just mentioned; I always knew that about him. I'm hoping to give it time and things will get better. =] And I know, there are always more fish in the sea.

cdedodgethis@xanga - If he was trying to get over me, that would mean he still felt for me, which would verify why he said that wasn't the issue when I confronted him on it... Oh well, I can't be inside his head. And no, we didn't sleep together. I'm still a virgin, and plan on staying that way for a while if not until marriage. He actually decided that my way was a good way to go, at least for a while- he said he already had one daughter, and wasn't really looking for another one out of marriage. Noooot that that's really pertinent to anything. Haha.

Again, thanks for everyone's responses. I hope this wasn't a really strange way of replying. ^^; Just chalk it up to my eccentricity...

Think way back to the good old days of Jr. High or maybe freshman year of High School - wasn't there always that one older boy, gorgeous, whom almost every female drooled over? The one that, should he happen to walk by, would cause your heart to stop and make you feel like you might swoon? I don't know about you, but there was definitely one in my school district, and he was a senior when I was in the eighth grade. He was in choir, and I was in choir - he did the high school musicals, and I've been doing theater since I was six. Not only was it a matter of him being incredibly attractive, he had an alluring "dangerous" air (I suppose that comes from being a black belt in every type of TKD imaginable), and he was doing all the things I was planning on doing when I hit high school. Of course I had a crush on him, like every other girl in the district. But he graduated, I moved on into high school, and life continued on a perfectly normal scale.

Like every other graduate, if a person stayed around the area, you heard a little bit about them every now and then. He had a baby with his girlfriend at the time, and it was unplanned but he wanted to be a daddy. He was going to college but came home every weekend. Little things that made you go, "Oh, really? That's cool, I'd wondered what happened to him."

Throughout this time, we occasionally talked online. Sometime, somehow, I'd gotten his screenname and was silly enough to IM him - and he was patronizing enough to talk to me. As I progressed through high school he moved up through college, until finally I was in college and he was completing his last semester. Somehow, I found that I was talking to him once a week instead of once every other month or so. And then I came home for summer... and found myself being asked over for a movie.

I'd never been so absolutely shell-shocked in my life.

It's not that I have no self-confidence, don't get me wrong. But this was the "boy of my dreams," so to speak, the boy that had an actual "Fan Club" run in his name even after he graduated. I was so nervous, I didn't even know what to do with myself.

So of course, my friends bolstered me up, picked out an outfit, and sent me on my merry way to his house the next week. They're great like that.

And I'm certainly not complaining. I enjoyed myself immensely, I have a huge crush on him, and I think there's definitely potential here. There's things in his past, trust issues, but I've always been told I'm old for my age so we're getting along just fine. I guess I just wanted to see, has anything like this ever happened to anyone else? Being able to happily discover the person behind the idol? =P